I was sitting here thinking about how I was to expect anyone to understand some of the things I write if you do not know a bit about me and my past.
I do not share my past trials for pity but rather to hopefully encourage others. The purpose of me sharing my past to show God's mercy and sovereignty in my life.
I did some of my growing-up in Missouri where
we believed in God and Jesus but I was never taught to have a relationship with
Christ. My parents were great when they were on the right track. After they stepped off God's path, things went downhill. Drugs and alcohol were abused by my parents and the abuse
reached its peak when I was about 13 years old. After my dad's addiction began, my mom became addicted to
prescription medicine to fight her depression which led to her later addictions
to meth. Being very hurt and searching for love in all of the wrong places, my
mom began having an affair with a younger man who we had known for a short time.
I felt so much pain, so much hurt, so much emptiness, so much betrayal. Each
day, I would wake my younger brother, Zach, up for school, make his lunch, make
dinner, and even clean because I was trying to make his life seem as normal as
it could be – I was trying to be his strength. Even though I loved my parents
with my whole heart, I was angry with them; I was searching for a perfect love,
a love that I knew would be there for me. I was lost, I was searching. I was
young. I was hurting. I needed someone I could trust.
When things were rough, my best friends of 9 years at the time invited me to
church. I agreed to go because I felt that it would be a great idea since I
knew that God was “the source of happiness.” While sitting in church, I felt
comfort through the worship and the preacher spoke about the parable of the
lost sheep. I was told that Jesus is trying to guide me in the right way, and
all I had to do was listen to His call and He would lead me into perfect peace.
This is it! This is what I wanted! A way to not become who my parents were! A
person to talk to that would not think poorly of my parents! On September 25,
2005 I started a relationship with my Savior. God’s timing is perfect.
Since I have been saved, the devil has tried numerous times to break me. Less
than two months after being saved, my mom came to my school on a Friday and
said, “Dylan, pack up your locker. Your grandparents are coming from Virginia
to take you to live with them for a little bit because we are about to lose our
second house this year.” God’s timing is perfect. The next day, my brother and
I moved to Virginia so my parents could work things out and become stable
again. The only thing keeping me from losing it was my new faith in God and
that He would deliver us from anything that would not be good for us.
While
Zach and I were gone, my parents began to restore their relationship, deciding
to renew their vows and hopefully move away from all of the “madness.” In
January 2006, my brother gave his life to Christ after a play at our new
church. God’s timing is perfect. Six weeks later (February 26, 2006) my mom was
shot and killed by the man she was having an affair with. Since I had a faith in God, I knew that there was
going to be good to come of it because God never wastes a pain. The devil did
not stop trying to bring me down. I was still getting teased at my new school
for being so quiet and for not having many friends. The next Memorial weekend,
the man who killed my mother, being out of jail on bond until his trial, was stabbed
by my dad’s friend who claimed my dad paid him to do it. My Father is currently
serving a 25-year sentence.
I knew God was there with His arms wide open,
hearing all my prayers. Everything that God allowed Satan to do to me only strengthened
me. Since my salvation day, God has strengthened and grown me. I now have an
intimate relationship with Christ and I’ve grown close to my dad, who now loves
the Lord too. My dad and I talk on the phone for at least 30 minutes a week and
I am so thankful for that. Now Christ is
working in his life through me – it’s beautiful. Two years later, the trial for
the man that killed my mom was taking place over my spring break. My brother, my
grandparents and I went to Missouri to be there while it happened. Over the previous
two years, God was at work in my life. God softened my heart so much that while
I was in front of the court, giving my statement of how losing my mom has
affected my life, I was filled with peace. I stopped reading, looked up at the
jury and at the man that killed my mom, and said, “Because of my faith in God
and the strength He has given me, I just wanted Mr. Whiteley to know that I
forgive him for everything that happened.” Today, I pray that he too comes to
know Christ soon. Maybe God will bless me with the chance to witness to him
someday.
Each day is a battle against the devil and my flesh. Each day is a victory from
the Almighty Lord.
Galatians 2:20 is my life verse. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no
longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by
faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”
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