A bit about my past...

I was sitting here thinking about how I was to expect anyone to understand some of the things I write if you do not know a bit about me and my past.

I do not share my past trials for pity but rather to hopefully encourage others. The purpose of me sharing my past to show God's mercy and sovereignty in my life.


I did some of my growing-up in Missouri where we believed in God and Jesus but I was never taught to have a relationship with Christ. My parents were great when they were on the right track. After they stepped off God's path, things went downhill. Drugs and alcohol were abused by my parents and the abuse reached its peak when I was about 13 years old. After my dad's addiction began, my mom became addicted to prescription medicine to fight her depression which led to her later addictions to meth. Being very hurt and searching for love in all of the wrong places, my mom began having an affair with a younger man who we had known for a short time.

I felt so much pain, so much hurt, so much emptiness, so much betrayal. Each day, I would wake my younger brother, Zach, up for school, make his lunch, make dinner, and even clean because I was trying to make his life seem as normal as it could be – I was trying to be his strength. Even though I loved my parents with my whole heart, I was angry with them; I was searching for a perfect love, a love that I knew would be there for me. I was lost, I was searching. I was young. I was hurting. I needed someone I could trust.

When things were rough, my best friends of 9 years at the time invited me to church. I agreed to go because I felt that it would be a great idea since I knew that God was “the source of happiness.” While sitting in church, I felt comfort through the worship and the preacher spoke about the parable of the lost sheep. I was told that Jesus is trying to guide me in the right way, and all I had to do was listen to His call and He would lead me into perfect peace. This is it! This is what I wanted! A way to not become who my parents were! A person to talk to that would not think poorly of my parents! On September 25, 2005 I started a relationship with my Savior. God’s timing is perfect.

Since I have been saved, the devil has tried numerous times to break me. Less than two months after being saved, my mom came to my school on a Friday and said, “Dylan, pack up your locker. Your grandparents are coming from Virginia to take you to live with them for a little bit because we are about to lose our second house this year.” God’s timing is perfect. The next day, my brother and I moved to Virginia so my parents could work things out and become stable again. The only thing keeping me from losing it was my new faith in God and that He would deliver us from anything that would not be good for us.

While Zach and I were gone, my parents began to restore their relationship, deciding to renew their vows and hopefully move away from all of the “madness.” In January 2006, my brother gave his life to Christ after a play at our new church. God’s timing is perfect. Six weeks later (February 26, 2006) my mom was shot and killed by the man she was having an affair with. Since I had a faith in God, I knew that there was going to be good to come of it because God never wastes a pain. The devil did not stop trying to bring me down. I was still getting teased at my new school for being so quiet and for not having many friends. The next Memorial weekend, the man who killed my mother, being out of jail on bond until his trial, was stabbed by my dad’s friend who claimed my dad paid him to do it. My Father is currently serving a 25-year sentence.

I knew God was there with His arms wide open, hearing all my prayers. Everything that God allowed Satan to do to me only strengthened me. Since my salvation day, God has strengthened and grown me. I now have an intimate relationship with Christ and I’ve grown close to my dad, who now loves the Lord too. My dad and I talk on the phone for at least 30 minutes a week and I am so thankful for that.  Now Christ is working in his life through me – it’s beautiful. Two years later, the trial for the man that killed my mom was taking place over my spring break. My brother, my grandparents and I went to Missouri to be there while it happened. Over the previous two years, God was at work in my life. God softened my heart so much that while I was in front of the court, giving my statement of how losing my mom has affected my life, I was filled with peace. I stopped reading, looked up at the jury and at the man that killed my mom, and said, “Because of my faith in God and the strength He has given me, I just wanted Mr. Whiteley to know that I forgive him for everything that happened.” Today, I pray that he too comes to know Christ soon. Maybe God will bless me with the chance to witness to him someday.

Each day is a battle against the devil and my flesh. Each day is a victory from the Almighty Lord. Galatians 2:20 is my life verse. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.”

Too Many Green Lights. Time for Some Yellow Lights.

Friends. Essays. Test. Commitments. Obligations. Homework.  Family. Burdens. Entertainment. Sleep. 

It seems to be so easy to fill up each day with so much – sometimes even more than we realize.  Somehow we take it on, tackle it, and do it again day after day. I know I am not the only one guilty of this. 

So where do we draw the line? When do we stop? When do we just take a minute to step back and breathe? If you are like me, you do not do it enough. At all. 

It is exam week for me– a week full of all nighters, several cups of coffee, stress, and saying “see you later” to friends. It is when we have to balance our time better than we have. For others, stress is hitting hard because it is getting closer to the holidays, work is stressful, money is tight, or things at home are rough. Time for ourselves is less and less and we forget how important it truly is (Although cliché, it is so true). 

 I sat down to study today (no, not cramming for once) and it was the first time in a while where I just sat totally unrushed. I got my cup of coffee, turned on some great worship music, and took a deep breath. Almost instantly, I felt God’s presence. I was worshiping God and He was taking full advantage of the time I was giving Him.

In that moment, God pointed something obvious out. I need to slow down. I keep myself a little too busy and just forget to sit back and let God mold me for a minute.  After all, God says, “Be still, and know that I am God…” (Psalm 46:10)

How often did you see Jesus stress because of time? After all, Jesus knew the scriptures.” [God] has made everything beautiful in its time” (Ecc. 3:11). Jesus spent every second in worship of God.

Funny how we love to feel God’s presence and desire Him to work in us but we never give Him the chance.  Maybe it is time to start saying “no” to some things that cause the hecticness and stop telling ourselves that we will have a chance to slow down. If you plan on resting on Sunday, for example, odds are that you will find something else to fill that time with. Start today. Sit back and let God work in you – enjoy all of the beautiful things He has created. 

“My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest.” (Exodus 33:14)

Brothers or best friends?

When my brother and I were younger, he always said that “brothers can never be friends because they are bothers.” Several years and several heart-aches later, he and I became the very best of friends. A younger brother is one who keeps you accountable to how you act because you want to set a good example. Two great fears have developed in my life; losing my brother and more fearfully, disappointing my brother. By having a younger brother, I have seen how one person’s decisions can impact another for the better or for the worse. When God allows a guy to be an older brother, He is giving that man a huge responsibility. It has always been said that “God will never give you more than you can handle.” It is hard being an older brother but the satisfaction is worth it; however, there is nothing more frightening the thought of letting a brother down. Sure there are the days where you fight, verbally and even physically, but through it all, it makes the bond much stronger. When you are forced to live with someone for so long, you learn how to make everything work out – after all, you have no choice.

My brother and I used to be like the typical, rough and tough, pair of brothers. Once things began to fall apart in our home and in our daily life, God began to change things; we were extremely blessed by God to have each other.  When brothers encounter hardships together, they have an understanding as to how the other feels and it is a sense of understanding that no one else can have. After many nights of crying together and feeling each other’s pain, we had a new bond – the bond of not only brothers, but the bond of the greatest set of best friends there ever was and ever will be. As things got progressively worse, we got stronger in our newfound best-friendship. Together we had scare after scare, tear after tear, heart-ache after heart-ache and pain after pain. Although being friends did not make any pain go away, knowing that we had a brother, no – not just a brother – a best friend, that understood made things manageable; we had each other.

I have told many that I love my brother more than I love anyone else on the planet and that is nothing but truth. Sure we have gotten into fights and we have been frustrated with each other or even disappointed with an action the other performed, but there is NOTHING like the bond a person and their brother have. Day-by-day we have become closer. Day-by-day we will continue to grow closer. I am proud of my brother and there has never been a day, or even a second, where I wished that I was an only child or that I had another sibling. The name “brother” is a very special name for only a very special person. I am blessed daily by my brother, Zach and nothing will stop that. God has blessed our brotherhood in more ways than one; He has poured numerous blessing on us and our bond. The reason for this is because we decided to keep God the center of our relationship and for that, we are being blessed daily.

There comes a sad day when brothers go their separate ways. It could be that one goes off to college or one moves 17 hours away, but the bond of brothers cannot be separated by distance, friends, lies, or even the stinking devil Himself – Not when God is in control. It is easy to worry about a brother when you are not close in distance or when you cannot see them often. But God has a plan. “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day brings enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:34. God has a plan for each individual and there comes a time when a brother has to realize that he cannot be in control of everything and that each brother needs to become their own, strong man. Even as brothers go their own ways, their bond is one that will never be forgotten or changed. Brothers have to trust that God guides the other brother and that God will keep the friendship strong. No matter where God takes your brother, He is in control and He will be sure to keep your bond strong as long as you keep God as the center of the bond. I have no power and no guarantee that me and my brother will be best friends by trusting on my own abilities; God is the only source of power and strength in every moment, even when we are weak. God will always be the leader of our brotherhood and I need to trust that He and He alone will keep it strong. Why? Because I know that He will. Lord, be with my brother where ever you take him and keep our friendship strong. I have faith that you will. Lord, I believe! Take my unbelief! In Jesus name I pray, Amen.